Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Make a Statement & Links a la Mode, November 1st

When it comes to dressing, are you a play it safe kind of person or are you a make a statement person? The answer to this makes me think of something my big girl asked me a few weeks back and that was mumma, why do people always want to fit in? (she's in middle school and this is a huge deal to her at the moment). I remember it well myself. Trying so hard to blend in so that you wouldn't get attention for the wrong reasons.


It was stifling at times. Wanting desperately to not be embarrassed by my non-brand name clothes. The hand-me-downs that the popular girl in my class had outgrown. The clothes that had tags cut out because they came from our "Reject Shop" which sold retail surplus or the ones I bought in a local street market. By the time I survived middle school, I was fine with it. I embraced the fact that getting dressed didn't mean I had to follow all the trends or wear things that were deemed cool by some other person. I could wear what I wanted and look the way I wanted and be fine, even if I didn't always feel fine at the time.


So my answer to my big girl was this, not everyone has the confidence to stand out. It takes a lot of courage to be yourself, especially in those middle school years. And I applauded her for having more strength than I ever did to be herself. To sing in front of her peers. To be a good friend when she sees someone who needs one. To dress in a way that allows her to express who she is and the values of our family, and not what others think is cool.


I didn't admit to her that even now I have my moments. I know I say I don't give a shit, and mostly I don't, but on occasion those insecurities do find their way in. Funnily enough, the last time I felt them was when I was walking up to work through the middle school, when I noticed a few middle school aged girls doing a sideways giggle I was sure at the outfit I was wearing (not this one, but a similarly outrageous one).


Luckily, I was able to quickly shrug off their giggles and feel my usual nonchalant self about what other people think of what I wear (or who I am).


But it reminded me of that earlier conversation with the big girl and how I want to be as a parent. I want to always empower my children to be themselves, even when it feels too hard to be. So they don't have to wait until they're adults to feel confident enough to make a statement and they never have to play it safe to fit in.

If you have time, check out my girl Natasha Moor who, among other things, is the creator of my favorite lipsticks. She's leading an anti-bullying campaign at the moment. Click over to her Instagram @natasha.moor to learn more about her #MoorPower project and get involved in spreading her message about #NoMoorBullies.



Links à la Mode, Nov 1, 2018
SPONSOR: Shopbop Vince, KORAL ACTIVEWEAR, Etre Cecile, Alpha Industries, Maggie Marilyn, NUDE, Patent Pumps, Plaid Pants, Cocktail Dresses, Men's Club Monaco

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

We probably would of been friends when I was little. I loved loud clothing, and I think I lived in an area that was much more conformist than normal (in the United States.) It was very wealthy, and most all kids wore the same brand, and clearly their mothers picked very neuteral shades that were very posh. I have a school photo of myself wearing a black jean vest and a bright yellow dress COVERED in smiley faces. I got teased a lot, and I know I didn't wear certain clothes because it made me stand out. But I think it started to mostly go away in high school, and pretty gone completely in college. I think living in a city really made me think "who care? no one"

But now that I am adult my fashion sense is bland, mostly for practical reasons. Hard to chase a toddler in a short skirt, you know? So I can't wait till my kids are too old to pick up and stop having permanently sticky hands (no really how do they get so sticky?!)

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