Monday, May 9, 2016

Ode to Working Mums

Oh working mums, this post is for you. It's time we band together to celebrate and support each other. It's not that we're different from other mums. It's not that we're more special. Motherhood is a badge of pride we all wear together.

The badge comes with perks and benefits. We get to be the center of our babies' admiration. Sometimes it's only us who can comfort them in their frustration or sorrow. We're who can turn a bad day around, just by being there. How awesome is that? Talk about having super powers!

And all those little drawings of hearts, handmade necklaces and bracelets, or notes of love, and those little keepsakes. You have to keep those close because those are the things that will warm your heart or bring tears to your eyes as they grow older and suddenly mumma isn't always the coolest. Or you get the eye rolls. Or the exasperated ugh, you don't understand and you need reminders to convince yourself that you do know stuff, whether they believe it or not.

This is the mother's lot. And, its really a good one regardless of the ups and downs, right? The sleep deprivation isn't so bad when you share a bed with a bub. My mother's day yesterday was a treat with my kid-made brekky, sweet smiles and special hugs all day.

June in March

 But working mums, our experience is different, and I don't mean better or worse than other mothers' experiences. Just different. Oh working mums, we wear our badge with something a little extra on our sleeves. It's called motherhood guilt. Actually, we all have it, but working mums get the added guilt of missing parent mornings at school, resorting to outsourcing the birthday treats or not having time to schedule as many playdates as everyone else (ugh, this is a topic for another post).

It's the looks from other mums for always being the one mum who doesn't come to the park and instead sends your loves off with a babysitter, helper or nanny. Or the looks that say oh, it must be nice to be able to get dressed up during the day while other women are schlepping about in their activewear. 

My mum

And here's the kicker...there's an assumption from others, that if you could financially or otherwise, you'd obviously be home with your kids. But that's where they're wrong. Oh working mums, it's feeling guilt at having to explain that working is your choice. You actually love your job or why would you get up and leave your kids? Your job completes who you are as a person and makes you a better mother. The hardest part of it is actually finding a balance. Some weeks are better than others, but hey.

Mother's Day, 2016

Am I resonating with any of you? I remember once before my big girl was born, I toyed with the idea of staying home part time. I had a super hard time going back to work after my first baby and I was convinced that working part time would make things better. In the end it didn't work out, but I am glad it didn't. I'm happy with how things turned out for me. And for them. I think we're doing just fine.

If you've got any working mum thoughts, please do leave me a comment. Like I said, we need to stick together.

Photos in this post (property of their own websites, etc) depict some of the working mums I am proud to share company with -- Anael Darmon - Ana Makeup HK, Sabrina Sikora - The First Wife, Jasmine Smith - Raven & Rose and Dress Me Blog Me, Jaime Smith - Smudge Make Up Artistry, Emily Baylis - June in March.

I can't forget my own mum, who taught me everything about being a working mum and how to be myself fully at work and as a mum. There are of course many more wonderful women friends whose lives are less visible online and so I have respected their privacy. But I've written this post for them, too.

***Photo credits: Michelle Proctor Photography for the pictures of Jasmine and Jaime.


Linda said...

Great post and lovely photos. Thank you so much for sharing.

Kremb de la Kremb said...

Super post! Thank you!!

I think, sometimes, and this is going to sound awful, but I'd like more time to myself. Now that my kids are older, I think I'd love to have time for the gym and ladies lunches and even cooking dinner. It sounds so awful, and I am not trying to make the assumption that this is what not working would be like, but I would love to have a little more time in my day where I could kind of just be and do whatever I wanted. I know it wouldn't be as rosy as I'm imagining. And I think what I'm describing might be retirement. But, I guess there's a selfish bit of me that would love to just have some days to myself. But hey....that's in two days isn't it?! The life of a teacher is the BEST!!

Again, great post N.

Love, Ann from Kremb de la Kremb

Kremb de la Kremb said...

PS I should say I do cook dinner, but more elaborate cooking--the fun, follow a recipe, make a fancy dinner kind!

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