Saturday, February 28, 2015

Who am I?

Apologies for the blog absence.  Life lately has taken a front seat over the blog these last couple of weeks (not that I put my life on the back burner normally, I'm just usually better able to balance).

We had one week off from school for Chinese New Year, which was a welcome break.  I needed to be home, to get to jobs that I never seem to have time for, to be a totally hands on mum and maybe take the kiddos out of their usual routine. It's been a mad rush these last three months to organize kiddo birthdays and I haven't had time for much else. Well...the kids got sick (me too, but not sick enough to stay home, just sick enough to be tired) so my idea of getting out of our routine went down the tubes. Part of the week off included the hubby being gone from 10am to 6pm each day for a PD workshop. They were also three of the four public holidays that Eva and Jojo were off. And, we were dogsitting.  So again, things were busy.

The last part of what's made life challenging lately is a horrible tragedy that has impacted our school community, predominately the high school.  Last week, a family of four (two had been students at our school) lost their lives in a horrific car accident.  The result of this tragedy left our kids, their parents and our teachers lost in grief.  Even as a teacher who never interacted with these kids in a classroom, I feel deeply sad about these circumstances and watching as those who did have the privilege of knowing them struggle to come to grips with this while trying to comfort them.  It's been an emotional week, to say the least.  I gave a lot of hugs and walked around on the verge of tears.

In any case, this accidental two week hiatus from my blog has left me feeling reflective.  Often these days when I meet people, I'm asked things like: how do you manage it all?  You work, have three kids, attend events, keep up with two blogs and do you do it? You're amazing! I'm hyper aware of the image I portray to my blog readers, on Facebook, and on my Instagram feed. I always want to make sure I'm relatable and genuine to those around me. To use my blog to support things I believe in like sustainable fashion or wear the things I've been gifted after collaborations because I really like them, etc.

I used to blog a lot more about parenting and life, but haven't done that much lately.  I used to have a rant here and there.  Not so much now.  Life hasn't changed, but I realize that my blog is much more public now than it used to be. Perhaps I'm just guarding these things because they're more personal, but that gives me pause to think. When did I start to feel like my personal life needed to be hidden?  I'm pretty open about things I think others can handle.  Heck, I remember a post in which I exposed the hilarities of breastfeeding my youngest which included a now-off limits photograph of my boob.

So, who am I now?  Have things really changed? I can only answer that simply; I'm still a Norbyah.

The truth is, I don't know how I manage. I actually don't think I do it all that well (no, I'm not fishing for compliments here, I'm being honest).  I'm flattered by the compliments I receive, but embarrassed that I've received them. Here's why; I think I could be better. I think I do too much. I think I let people down. I think I could be more patient with my children. I think I could be a better friend, sister, wife, mother, teacher, blogger, etc.

Deep down I think of all these things, but I don't necessarily let them eat away at me.  And here's why; I'm doing the best I can. I make mistakes. I lose my cool. I just don't share these things as often anymore, but maybe I should. I am human, after all. And, I have an incredible support network around me.  They're who make things possible.  They have an invisible, but integral role in helping me and this blog be the success that it is.

Okay, reflective thoughts finished.  Back to regular blogging...and life, soon.

**I've included images that show a few behind the scenes views of the real life of I'm a Norbyah, with just a few of the people I'm lucky enough to be surrounded by.  


Sharon said...

I do love your balance of personal life and fashion interests in your blog! I can barely post once a week and I'm not even married with kids! Your creative efforts are appreciated. :-)

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