Saturday, September 26, 2009

Here they are.

My three. Each in their own stage of development. Challenging and wonderful all at once.

Buddy had school pictures this week, so on Tuesday, we went into Stanley to get his hair trimmed up and ready. What a boy. He still loves his mohawk and asked to have just the sides short yet again. Earlier this week, after Buddy had boarded the bus, one of our neighbours asked us if Michael asks to have his hair cut this way. Joey responded in his usual fashion - telling her that of course we don't make him do it. The only thing he makes Buddy do is brush his teeth and go to bed.

Since then, I've spent the rest of the week thinking about this comment - first with Joey - and by myself. It made me think two things. First, people just do say the weirdest things. And, I know it's not just because we live in this environment - an isolated neighbourhood comprised only of teachers - and it would happen anywhere. It just seems that people talk. And, I can only imagine what they say - so I don't bother to spend too much time worrying.

But second, I've been thinking about the whole make your child do stuff bit. And, I basically came up with this. The only thing I want to make my children do is be confident and brave enough to be themselves. Joey and I both feel this way. I wouldn't want them to be anything other than the dear, sweet and sometimes frustrating beings that they are.

So, we go with the mohawk. In previous years it has been pink crocs, super hero costumes, fairy wings and even his Fijian sulu. And yes, even for school pictures. Because, one day we'll look back and smile with nostalgia at these memories. So what if he has a mohawk in his passport photo. Who said that we couldn't? And what do their grandparents think, we're often asked. They think what we do. We don't want to look back at photos and have moments captured on film that are not accurate representations of our real lives.

So what will my memories be of right now? My tough-on-the-outside little boy, with his cool do, is the one who calls me in to his room after bedtime just to say I love you. And even if I'm frustrated because he just woke up Cally, I cherish this.

And Ella? Even though she's getting the better of me these days - undoing, untidying, unpacking - you get the picture...she will not let anyone leave the house without giving them at least three hugs. And, she loves her brother. To pieces. She cries if he forgets to give her a hug before hopping on the school bus or if he leaves her upstairs.

Cally? Oh, sweet Cally. Her life is racing before us. She's crawling everywhere. And yesterday, she pulled herself up on a dining room chair to sit by herself. I love that there are times that I'm the only one who can pacify her. I know it's selfish, but I do. My mere presence is enough. How lucky am I? She has the calmest disposition. She's so laid back. And I quote Joey here, she makes me want to have number four.

So, people may ask ridiculous questions. Look, judge or wonder at our lives or our parenting. I know we have people who love us for us. We're planning on staying just the way we are.


Shan said...

What a lovely post. Yes, parenting is a whole other world. It's like I said in an earlier post of mine that every parent has an opinion because they too have a parent, and therefore feel entitled to give an opinion - even if it's phrased as a question! I make a conscious decision not to comment on other parents because I know that they are doing the very best they can. As a side note, interesting that Cally and Amaya have exactly the same dimple considering Cally was your 'Amaya baby'. xo

Norbyah said...

Yes, thank goodness for Amaya! She softened Joey into considering our 'Amaya baby' Cally. xoxo

brummygem said...

hey norbyah,

i really loved reading this post. and i really LOVE that buddy has his own ideas and style and that you encourage your kids to be themselves. who cares what anyone else thinks! i think confidence and creativity are two of the most important things anyone (child or adult) can possess - so go you and joey for letting your kids be both of these from the start!

all your kids seem so lovely - i really hope i get to meet them some day!

anna x

Unknown said...

Hi Nornie
Loved the latest blog and great to see and hear about the kids.Yes dont worry about what people say remember some of the crap I had to put up with?If you are comfortable in your self--- go --thats what matters . Well we thought of u Rog and I are Straddie till Tuesday about to walk on the beach then sand my table -wish u were here -Pete may bring the boat over today depends on time and weather
Glad I could get on here give the kids a hug and tell Buddy his haircut is pretty cool

Love U Jady

gilly said...

opinions are like assholes...everybody has one!

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