Friday, October 23, 2015

Complications of social media (or, do I annoy you?)

I remember way back in my early days of fashion blogging, when Google Friend Connect was a thing, I used to get a little thrill every time I gained a new follower.  I also remember the tinge of disappointment when I lost one.  The first time this happened, I actually wrote about it.  I took it really personally. It made me think about how someone didn't like what I wrote, or what I wore, or possibly even me and decided I wasn't worth following any longer.  

That stuck with me.

Later, I was able to forget about it because mostly, those followers were people I didn't know in real life. I figured it had nothing to do with me. It was about my content (and to me, those things were not necessarily one and the same).


Fast forward a few years.  Now I'm on Instagram, I have a Facebook page, my blog is still going and I'm trying Snapchat. Both my blog and other social media platforms have evolved from being all personal to including more fashion stuff and being more public. In this business of blogging, I find myself checking my Blogger analytics, or scrolling through my InstaTrack app to find out where my readership is or to monitor engagement on a regular basis.


It's in doing this that my super sensitive self has emerged once again.

So, what happens when someone you actually know 'de-friends' you on Facebook? or 'un-follows' you on Instagram? (And how crazy is it that we live in a world where both those two words exist?)


When I scroll down to see who's following me or who has unfollowed me, I sometimes pause when I recognize a name. It disappoints me a little (sometimes a lot). And then I wonder why?


Maybe I take too many selfies? Maybe I post too much? Maybe my posts are repetitive and boring? Maybe what I share feels trivial when there are so many other real things happening in peoples lives? Maybe no one cares what I wear everyday? Maybe the quality of my pictures needs work? Maybe I pissed you off in real life and now you're calling off all friendship?

Maybe I'm just annoying?


Whatever the reason, these days the unfollow and the unfriend buttons are such a fast, simple click, that pressing them can just be a simple knee jerk reaction (or the resolution of some serious contemplation). The result of that action is complicated, though.  Feelings can't simply be pressed on or off as simply and therein lies the conundrum.

Apologies if you don't agree with my ramblings. I guess you can go unfollow me now.

15 comments:

Susan Dougill said...

If someone unfollows you, you probably find its nothing to do with you but about them. I prefer ramblings as a blog that is more personal is more you than perfection.

Norbyah Nolasco said...

Thanks Susan. I tend to agree with you as my own experience has been that it definitely is more about them than me. The hard part is, that despite knowing that to be the case, it still hurts.

Thanks for stopping to read and leave a comment. I really appreciate it.
xo
n

Petite Silver Vixen said...

It's why I try not to get hung up on numbers/followers and analytics - the joys of not being a professional blogger! I just keep on trundling and bumbling along in my own way, posting what I like and what amuses me. And if that appeals to others and amuses them enough to want to follow me - yay! Of course, we're all human, and ego can get in the way and I won't deny it if there's a wee tinge if someone unfollows. I follow people because they interest me and not because I'm looking for a back scratch back (although it's always a warm fuzzie when they do reciprocate!). I find that takes the stress out of it.

Norbyah Nolasco said...

Thanks Petite Silver Vixen, and thank goodness I'm not a professional blogger either. I certainly do not have the thick skin to be anyone 'professional'...I think I do just need to go back to plodding along on my own, like I was. Really, though, for me the focus was on the people who know me in real life who decide not to follow. That for me feels more awkward. My ramblings this time were based on actual experiences that I'm trying to reconcile....sigh.

xo
n

Kenia Fowler said...

This is so relatable - and probably the main reason I haven't blogged as I should. It's another pool of people to think about.
I find that many people I'm friendly with have unfollowed me on IG - and I understand it. When you are blogging or marketing anything it becomes your passion and if someone isn't passionate about what you are posting - it happens. Maybe it's the selfies or the ten thousand reinventions or the rants or the competitive pricing that earns me lost followers daily. And I have to be ok with that.
So don't get too upset my lovely. It's part of the journey. And the journey must continue no matter who unfollows because there will always be new like minded people to accompany you in the way :)

Norbyah Nolasco said...

Kenia, you've put a smile on my face. Thank you. I'm glad you're one of the new like minded people I've found to accompany on my journey.
xo
n

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Kremb de la Kremb said...

Oh my gosh! I can totally relate to this post. What an excellent, well-written article. On all your questions--goodness, I have all the same ones with every single post--be it on the blog, Instagram, Facebook, etc.

We gotta have thick skins for what we're doing, don't we?! Like seriously thick skins.

Let's go have a cuppa and figure out how to eliminate the worries each one of these questions creates. Ugh!! Let's do it!!

Love, Ann

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