Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Hostile takeover

Not really hostile. Norbyah was quite happy for me to take over in her stead.

First of all, Norbyah gave birth to Cally Jane Nolasco on Monday, February 9th. Both mom and baby are fine and very eager to get home. Big brother an sister are very excited to meet their newest partner in crime, and I feel it will be a very special moment when they finally do. I am sure Norbyah will fill you in on all of this very soon.

Now, what do I have to blog about?

I have been thinking a lot lately. Thinking about things that I normally don't think about. Thinking about the bigger picture. Thinking about birth, life, death, and most importantly - what can I do to make this life special? What do I need to do to become a better father, husband, friend, person? I have been drawn toward the Buddhist way of thinking which in its most basic can be explained in one quote - "Once you accept death; it is then that you can live life." I found this very intriguing. So I read more...and I like what I am reading. I like that it makes me think. I like the thought of "living in the now" and being the best that I can be - now.

So yesterday I had the chance for the third time to see my beautiful wife give birth (sans pain medication) and give us the greatest gift - little Cally. After this most emotional day I came home to find that the kids were in bed and Eva was back in her room. I was alone with time to think. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit disappointed when I saw that Cally was a girl. For that split second I realized how badly I had wanted a boy, and for selfish reasons. I am the youngest boy of the youngest boy in my family. Basically, I was the last Nolasco. The pressure was on me to carry on my father's name as it was on him 35+ years ago. Norbyah and I were blessed, and I relieved, that we got that out of the way with the birth of Michael. We move on to Cally (skipping Ella because we knew that she was a girl very early on) this was my chance to secure that family name should we have another boy. Two boys - better odds right? Well, it was a girl. With all that went on during this great day and all this stuff rattling around in my head this is what I came up with.

How important is a name? Is that the most important thing that I can pass on to my children? Immediately, the answer that came to me was no. What I need to pass on to my children is the tremendous amount of love that I have for them. I need to pass on character, compassion, and perserverence. It is not the name that I give them that I want to live on, it is these things. These things can live on through many generations. It isn't starting with me, it has already started, and I feel I am doing my part. I can only hope that my children will do theirs - no matter their name. I am sure they will.


Our future generation.

Today- I'm a Joe, I'm a Norbyah. Tomorrow - they will be also.

7 comments:

Shan said...

Hey Joe, What a most moving and honest post. The moment you can be honest to yourself, and then the world, is the moment you can live an honest life. You and I are married to very 'special' people and often it can be difficult to walk in their path. So recently I decided to create my own path - the slow movement (as I like to call it), which is much along the lines of living in the moment. I applaud you for your courage to search to be the best you can be. And you know what, you write exceptionally well, I think you should start your own blog. Love Shan xo

mama alicianorman said...

congratulations, she is so cute...love faridah and omar

anna: said...

Congratulations Norbyah and Joe!! And welcome beautiful baby Cally!
Lots of love from London,
Anna

Putri said...

thanks joey for filling in, and giving us such a thoughtful post. i love bug and belly so much it is gut wrenching. and it seems impossible that i could love anything else as much. so it is startling to me how overwhelming it is to just see a picture of cally. makes a person realize how much love we have to give....i miss you guys and wish i could meet her, and wish i could watch michael and ella meet their little sister. you are such a beautiful family.

emily said...

oh. wow. nice work, joey. we love you guys, all of you in every way that is "joey" and "norbyah." we can not wait to meet cally, and the rest of you, again, as i'm sure you'll never be the same thanks to this beautiful baby sister. we are honored and thrilled to be her Godparents.

Mich said...

This is why I love you so much & couldn't imagine a life without you. Your children are so blessed to have such wonderful parents and amazing siblings. I love you all so much!

gilly said...

Congratulations to you all! We'll all meet up one day...I'm sure of it. well done norbyah! Well done Joe! Well done everybody! xxxx

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